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As the final RAW before the WWE’s biggest PPV of the year, WrestleMania 23, last night’s show demonstrated just how ill-conceived the main events have been. Michaels taking out John Cena with his Sweet Chin Music move was about as predictable and anticlimactic as it comes.

Truth be told, Cena vs. Michaels just isn’t that interesting. Both Michaels and Cena are too over as faces and neither is getting any genuine heel heat. And Michaels is about 10 years too late in his career to be main eventing WrestleMania against Cena. Far more intriguing would have been to match up Cena against Edge, Orton or The Great Khali, but apparently Vinnie Mac and company decided to play it safe this year. Too safe. And that makes for an uninteresting WrestleMania.

Despite prodigious amounts of promotion, including bringing in Donald Trump to help lend WM23 some outside-of-wrestling star power, the Billionaire’s Hair Match seems to intrigue Vinnie Mac far more than it does the average RAW viewer, and again suffers from utter predictability: does anyone really believe Lashley will lose and that Trump would agree to be shaved bald? Vinnie Mac is a foregone conclusion as the bald billionaire. Yawn.

I could go on, but the rest of the WM23 undercard is just as boring and predictable. And we all know that, whatever happens, the better undercard matches will simply get a RAW, ECW or SmackDown “rematch” next week, anyway, and that Trump will appear for one more video conferencing cameo to gloat over a bald Vinnie Mac on next week’s RAW. What else is new? Certainly nothing coming up at WM23.

About the only way to save WM23 is to throw the fans a curve ball by encouraging Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to come out of “wrestling retirement” to make a surprise guest appearance and grab the WWE title away from Cena after Cena defeats Michaels, as part of what could be perhaps a six-month return that would climax with The Rock as a heel champ surrendering the title back to Cena at SummerSlam so he can go make movies again.

Of course, the likelihood of that is about equal to a “living and dead” reunion of The Beatles at WM23.

As much of a Mick Foley fan as I am, I was relieved during last week’s WWE Raw to find out that Foley was a swerve and that the real guest referee for the “Battle of the Billionaires” is Stone Cold Steve Austin. It’s always good to see Stone Cold in the ring, even if his main eventing, title holding days are well behind him.

I must admit, though, that despite it being corny and predictable and silly, without the Battle of the Billionaires angle, the WrestleMania 23 match between ECW Champ Bobby Lashley and big-man Umaga would be such a snorefest match, it could be sponsored by any company that makes sleeper sofas. With the angle, it’s more interesting if only because we all know there’s no way Donald Trump would ever agree to be part of something where he’d get his head shaved, so it’ll be a hoot to tune in and watch Trump shave McMahon bald.

Even after all these years of playing the evil owner, Vince McMahon still knows what it means to, “give the people what they want.” And if Vince complains about being bald, we all know Stone Cold will be there to deliver the final insult: a Stone Cold stunner!

Bafflingly, Umaga is still getting a bigger push from WWE than The Great Khali. I mean, both are monster-sized heels, but considering neither are very good on the mic, the best way to compare them is by their physical presence.

Bottom line: Khali is more impressive in every way. He offers WWE something they haven’t had in a while; a guy who, by his very appearance, really can be believable as an unstoppable force.

Umaga, by comparison, may be heavier, but he’s also shorter and looks like someone who needs to be on a fat burner medication.

While it’s a waste of talent either way, the “battle of the billionaires” between McMahon and Trump would be a lot more unpredictable if Vince’s representative was the Great Khali, not Umaga.

A couple weeks ago, Vince McMahon took advantage of the current feud between Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell by promising an in-ring showdown between the two on Monday Night RAW. The broadcast, which featured wrestlers who were impersonating both celebrities in unflattering ways, was denounced by the usual suspects as tasteless, tacky and cruel.

More media sympathy seemed to center around RAW’s portrayal of Rosie than their portrayal of The Donald. Sure, it was tacky; WWE tends to be that way. It’s not news. So Rosie was portrayed as a bit oafish, food-obsessed and foul-mouthed. Umm… how far off from reality is that? It’s not like they put her in a diaper and had her rocking in an Emily crib.

As for the Donald, they portrayed him as egotistical, oafish and a toupee-wearing blowhard. Again, how far off from reality is that?

Sure, it was tasteless; sure, it was tacky. What do you expect from WWE? It’s what they do. The real question is, when are the real Rosie and Donald gonna shut up, stop sniping at each other and act like adults? Then there’d be nothing for RAW to make fun of.