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In his latest shoot-work video, Hulk Hogan promises TNA fans “it’s about to get real” and that TNA is about to drop “fake-ass” wrestlers, gimmicks and storylines. It’s just version 12.4 of what he’s built his career on, though.

But lets take Hogan seriously for a moment; as seriously as one takes selecting the best diet pills.

You want me to buy into this new gimmick, Hogan? Fine. Here’s how you do it: First, drop the Abyss gimmick. Unmask him, nix the costume and have him wrestle in standard trunks as Chris Parks. That would be a good start.

Then, let’s drop the old ECW gimmick of Brother Ray and Brother Devon. Let’s just wrestle them as Mark LoMonaco and Devon Hughes. While you’re at it, let Magnus be Nick Aldis. Make Raven be Scott Levy. Forget RVD; he must now wrestle as Rob Szatkowski. Sabu can go back to being Terry Brunk, Stevie Richards can be Michael Manna, and forget Sting… he’s now Steve Borden.

Oh, almost forgot one. Hulk, from here on you, you gotta just be Terry Bollea.

Of course, none of that will ever happen. Which is why Hogan’s promo is so blatantly bogus.

Next week’s guest host of WWE Raw will be Pittsburgh Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger, it was announced on tonight’s Raw broadcast. Whether he or his teammates are the beneficiaries of the best diet pills or not, the Steelers are off to a disappointing 1-2 start so far this season, so the distraction might not be the most welcome thing for Roethlisberger’s coach.

Also, the Steelers will be playing a Sunday night game head-to-head with WWE’s scheduled PPV event, Hell In a Cell, and Big Ben will be hosting when his NFL employers are airing a Monday Night game opposite the Raw broadcast. Oh well, sports entertainment makes strange bedfellows. And anyone’s gotta be better than Al Sharpton.

The best diet pills in the world can’t make up for the bloated sight of Vladimir Kozlov in a WWE ring. But we’d better get used to it for a while because Matt Hardy lost his title match against Kozlov to become the new ECW champion.

This shows just how little regard McMahon now holds the ECW brand in; punking out a marketable, popular champion like Hardy after a brief run to the underexposed, overrated Russian big man is just not a way to draw viewers to the SciFi show, nor will it put many butts in the seats at TV tapings.

Does anyone remember The Big Show?